I Knew It Seemed Too Simple!

[Missy]

If you recall last winter - we went back to Ohio the first week of January to celebrate the holidays like we have done every year since we moved here. Drove there in a snowstorm (took us over 16 hours, normally 12), drove back here in an ice storm (took us nearly 18 hours!). Then - in February we met DHs family half way and drove back through a BLIZZARD (should have been 6 hours... took us 18!!).

We decided right after that, that this year we were NOT traveling through the winter. We told our families way back around April that this we would NOT be traveling anywhere outside of North Carolina until Easter. Everyone seemed fine with it and they all "said" they understood our reasons. Throughout the year we have made some casual reminders and everyone said yep, they knew and remembered.

My Dad's pretty easy going... no big deal to him. They've decided to come here the week before Christmas and stay through the holiday. I'm super excite about that!

My DHs Mom has never been here, doesn't seem to care if we go there... so again, no big deal with her. She gets gifts anyhow, she just mails us a big check every year and we spend it on the kids.

DHs Step-Mom... she's another story. Now - keep in mind she's been his step-mom for 25 years and our kids are her grandkids and DH sees her more of a Mom than a step-mom. When we were home last week she mad mention a few times that she wanted to met half-way for a day or two and celebrate Christmas together. I didn't want to upset her and just said "we'd have to see, but I didn't think it would be possible". She mentioned it more than once, so I knew it would be a problem. We later found out she even tol the kids she'd see right before or after Christmas when we met to open gifts together!

DHs Dad is very realistic and he understands completely. So - DH and I talked to him privately before we left and said we didn't want to upset her, but we were standing firm and not traveling. Last year really did us in and really was hard on the kids traveling through those dangerous conditions. He totally understood and said he'd handle it.

Well.... today I got this:

M.
Since we don't get to see the kids for Christmas this year because you don't want to compromise and meet us half way, R and I decided to just get everyone gift cards for Christmas.
J.

Ughh! Talk about a passive aggressive move! So glad we won't have to actually see them until Easter... by then she'll be over it. I hope!

[candied]

Eek! So sorry she sent that to you. Perhaps you can forward it on his dad and let him take care of it. Does she not care for the safety of you and kids traveling like that? Seems very inconsiderate to me.

[EmmaLu]

Um, passive aggressive much?? Sorry you are dealing with that!! Sad when adults can't put themselves aside for the best interest of children, you know? It's okay for her to be a little sad or something, but that was uncalled for, IMHO.

[Tanikova]

she is being totally unreasonable

[Admin Randy's Wife]

Wow, she has some nerve.....I am sorry she sent that to you!

[arubagirl]

Gift cards are great tell her!! The kids enjoy picking out their own stuff and you wont have to return and unwanted items

[My2Blessings]

Originally Posted by arubagirl

Gift cards are great tell her!! The kids enjoy picking out their own stuff and you wont have to return and unwanted items

Exactly right!

I am so sorry Missy... that is just wrong of her to do that to your family.

[megan_anne81]

You should submit that little jewel to passiveaggressivenotes.com!

I agree with arubagirl- just let her know the gift cards will work great!

If you can stand having company again after your Dad leaves maybe you could invite FIL/MIL to spend a few days at your place.

[qdmom]

Yowza - that's really brazen.
I love arubagirl's suggestion about thanking her!

[GoNooshBird]

Wow. Just wow.