Looking to make a move

[momto3boys]

Hi all, DH an I have been throwing around the idea of getting out of NJ! The problem, WHERE TO GO.

We're looking for a friendly place to move to. I'm concerned that where ever we choose we will be the "outsiders" and the kids will have a hard time adjusting to the move. I KNOW there are places that frown on new people from the north.

With that said, we were thinking of somewhere not too far away, but far enough. We were thinking of Western NC, or Tenn. Now he is thinking West Virginia. As good as those places sound, they are a little far away. I'm curious about Deleware, or parts of PA. We are looking for a lower cost of living.

Any advice, ideas on a great friendly location?

Thanks

[arubagirl]

We cant wait until dh retires in 6 years and we canleave NJ Also!, but we have the same issue as to where to go ! Takes are so high herre along with everything else!... We would like to move to Pennsylvania but this cold weather is getting to much for us!! I lived in florida but that is so crowded and crime is on the rise. we are thinking Nc or Sc maybe even Texas. I still like seasons but I can do with out bitter cold temps:)

[selena1075]

I miss NC SO much. I moved here to Delaware from Raleigh to be with my boyfriend (now husband). I moved to Raleigh from Western NC for college.

So, Western NC is beautiful you get all of the seasons but nothing too extreme. You'll see a bit of snow in the winter and it will get warm but not TOO hot in the summer. My mom still lives there and still doesn't have an air condidtioner. I always though the cost of living was very low there but the houses do cost more than I thought. There isn't much there as far as jobs or entertainment though. I guess that depends on exactly where you are though. My mom is in Waynesville, NC.

Raleigh is a perfect place to live I think. There are universities near by (NC State, Duke, UNC Chapel Hill are the big ones although there are other smaller ones too) so there's a lot more to do. The summers are a bit more intense there than in the western part of the state though. Its unlikely that you'd see snow there but it has happened a few times. If anything falls, it is usually ice..ick. There are more job opportunities there too.

I feel like in NC people are friendly everywhere. My husband used to visit me there and was always surprised at how strangers would say hi and be nice. Of course more and more people are moving to both western NC (mostly retireees) and the Raleigh (and Charlotte) area so that may be changing LOL!

I live in DE now. Cost of living is MUCH lower than NJ but still not as low as NC. We have no sales tax so that helps a lot. Property taxes are low but that says a lot about the school system. A lot of people send their kids to private school here. We won't be able to afford that for our girls so I have my fingers crossed big time for Charter School acceptance. People are ok, not rude but not overly friendly either. There aren't so many people that are really FROM DE so I don't think you'd feel like an outsider. Banking is big here so theres BOA, Chase, etc all here. DuPont is also here but has been doing more cut backs than hiring it seems. Delaware is nice because it is close to so much...1 hr to Philly (less from some areas), 1 hr to Baltimore, 2 hrs to the beaches, 2-3 hrs to NY City, 2 hrs to DC.

Does that help at all? didn't mean to write a novel LOL!

[momto3boys]

Yes Selena, it does help. I LIKE the novel! I'm just so torn with leaving family and taking the kids away from friends that I don't know what to do. My DS1 is a Sophmore so he is going to be quite resentful but I don't think we can afford to stay here (plus I'd like to get him away from some of the people he calls friends, if you know what i mean) But we live in a town with a great school system, that is very important to me. I don't know if I'll find that elsewhere. One of my DSs is Dyslexic and the special education program here is excellent and I'm not sure he'll get the help he needs in another state.

[woohoo]

(plus I'd like to get him away from some of the people he calls friends, if you know what i mean)
Be careful of that though, if you move, the wrong crowd can pick up on the the new kids' insecurities and bring him in to their fold, he may not be better off with friends than he is now. At least where you're at you probably what you're dealing with. I'm not saying it would keep me from moving, but it's something to think about when/if you move. We'll never be able to move, so I won't even dream! I don't know where I'd want to go either!

[selena1075]

The only reason we aren't back in Raleigh right now is because of family and not wanting to take the girls away from that. Here I have my husband's mom and 2 sisters (and their families), then we have more immediate family in N Jersey and Baltimore. Moving to Raleigh would get us close to my friends but we'd be 6 hours from here and 5 hours from my mom. So, no family nearby. I just feel like there's such a benefit to being close to family when kids are young so we're here...

[momto3boys]

Be careful of that though, if you move, the wrong crowd can pick up on the the new kids' insecurities and bring him in to their fold, he may not be better off with friends than he is now. At least where you're at you probably what you're dealing with. I'm not saying it would keep me from moving, but it's something to think about when/if you move. We'll never be able to move, so I won't even dream! I don't know where I'd want to go either!

OMG you have read my mind! I told DH that SAME THING about the "wrong crowd"... I'm just so unsure of what to do now. My boys are 15, 13 & 11 and I KNOW I would HATE my parents if they moved me at the age of 15. So I'm sure we'll stay put but the bills are piling up!

[CashNinQs]

Have a friend who moved from NJ to Ohio -- loves it as the cost of living is much lower. However, she had a hard time adjusting to the lower wages that went along with it - one of those "duh" things that surprised her. Also know three other families that relocated from New York to Ohio -- they like the "milder" weather there and the fact that it is still easy to drive "home" to NY. One family was shocked by the difference in the special education that was NOT available and they had gotten used to in NY so you might check that out. No -- I'm not paid by the state of Ohio -- just know others that have moved from your area and like it!

As for being outsiders -- if you move anywhere near any large city in the US many people around you will be from "somewhere else". We've hopped all over the country and always found a welcome and kindred spirits. Younger kids will take their attitude from yours -- if it's an adventure for you, it will be for them. Older kids may need some additional help to find their niche -- but teachers, coaches, church youth group leaders, band leaders, etc. are often very willing to help open doors. We also grew up in a very small town and know what you mean about being outsiders -- but haven't had much problem in our moves.

[My2Blessings]

I have lived in Calif, Texas, Florida & massachusetts. I honestly think Texas is my least favorite. We live here now because it is close to family & DH has a good job here. I wouldn't be heartbroken to leave Texas, except for leaving my family. I live in the Houston area, where traffic is awful, the summers are brutal, but at least the winters are mild. My DH is from Indiana and he loves the fact that we don't have much of a winter.

[grshoppers]

I'm throwing in a vote for TN. The cost of living is lower, but you do have to consider lower wages too.

What kind of work do y'all do? That could play a big part in moving also.

[arubagirl]

my parents moved me from Nj to Florida when I was 16!! It was very hard at first being the "yankee" in school. the hs I went to was very "back woods" like.. anyway it was ok after a while . but I always considered Nj as "home" Now I am ready to move someplace cheaper and warmer, but i dont think it will be Florida!

[momto3boys]

DH works for UPS, but unfortunately he cannot transfer. That would be great if he could. I am a secretary so any type of office work. We'd be leaving here with a little chunk of change that hopefully could buy us a house and we would not have a mortgage. But the big thing is leaving family. I up for ANY suggestions on where you all live and where you think would be a great place to go!!

Thank you for all the great advice!

[JMac]

I'd say Texas is a fantastic place to live, but I'm a bit biased :) Depending on where you live, we have some really great schools. I've lived in several cities from big (Houston) to semi-small (15,000) with bigger surrounding. Our summers do get hot, but for the most part, everyone is friendly down here, I have everything I need, etc.

[Admin 100thousandaire]

Anywhere that you move away from the NE will have a salary adjustment. I live in the metro Phoenix, AZ area. The housing prices have increased (but are on the downslide), the wages are steady, the city is growing quickly. The biggest claim to fame (businesswise) here is that Phx has opened its arms to the biotechnology field. I am sure that more medical research will come following that. We have ASU, NAU and UofA for state universities. We are about 450 miles or so away from LA and about the same for San Diego for nice getaways. Las Vegas is a bit shorter in distance. We have pretty diverse state, there's snow up north in the winter (skiing/snowboarding), mtns here for hikes, desert, lakes, fishing, hunting, and lots of other stuff. The summers are brutal - they say it's a dry heat but our monsoon seasons (hot/humid/muggy/miserable) are lasting longer and longer (IMO). The winters are nice. We have major league sports, college sports, and Spring Training for minor league baseball. It's very rare to meet a native Arizonan here, we are all from somewhere else. The city is really spread out geographically and there are pockets of good with nice houses and there are pockets of questionable areas (much like any other lg metropolitan city out there). If you can come for a visit in the dead of summer and like it, you will survive well.