I can not wait.....

[candied]

until DD7 REALLY cares about her clothes and the way she looks. But when that times comes, I am going to probably regret that as well.

Don't get me wrong, I love her careful personality, but oh my goodness. Some mornings (today included) she comes out dressed for something....I don't know what...what :eek:

She loves to play in all the elements provided by school - swing sets, sandbox, mud (when it rains), grass...and her clothes show it. Which is fine, I really don't care. But I also don't want her wearing clothes that have stains on them, but want her to look presentable.

This morning she puts on the following:

*black capri'ish pants (no problem)
*a white shirt with a cartoon scene of her and sister - with a stain just below her chin on the left a bit
*green socks pulled up high - as if they were tights with the heels sitting right about her ankles
*ratty plain yucky shoes that were suppose to be black and white, but look black

I see her brushing her hair (just enough to get the tangles out) and say that she needs to change her shirt and socks. Everything else was okay.

She immediately starting crying, saying her legs were cold, blah blah blah. She didn't like my reasons of the socks don't match or fit you and your shirt has a stain on it. I told her you have plenty of clothes to be able to find something that doesn't have a stain on it and to look somewhat presentable.

But oh my goodness - you think her favorite stuffed animal was murdered or something. I got so frustrated this morning. And to top off the morning - she moves even SLOWER than her normal slow paced morning.

Drives me crazy...thanks for letting me vent a bit. I should have taken a picture but I was so frustrated this morning. She is my sweet baby. She has always been very difficult with clothing. With my DD13 I could dress her in anything - dresses, pants, jeans, it didn't matter. But with DD7, she does not like buttons (on shirts or pants), snaps, zippers. She doesn't even like decorative buttons on shirts, even though they don't do anything. I (and family) would have to buy clothing that didn't have any of those things. So a lot of the really cute clothes she refused to wear. She will finally wear jeans, but that is it.

Thanks again,
Candace

[Admin Irock]

Oh Candace, I'm with you!! Mine is 12 and still dresses like a 10yr old boy!! She's not so picky about buttons and such, but "who cares about a little stain?"

I feel no remorse in telling her that I do!! I care what people think of me when they see you!! I don't care that you dress like you're going to a pick up game of hoops in the park, but if you're going to school like that, you will not wear your "play in the yard at home" clothes!!!

And brush your hair!! Pulling it back into a ponytail is not good enough!;)

And then there's my younger DD, who can't show me what she's wearing without kicking out her hip with her hand on it, like a runway model, and brings me hair clips and such and proceeds to TELL me how she wants her hair done for the day.

I love that they're so different.:) Gives me more stories to tell.

[JMac]

I wish my mom had cared a little more when I was younger :) I don't remember stains, but I know I looked like a boy sometimes! I know I won't be letting it happen to my child, cry or not :) I just remember my days and think 'What was she or I thinkin'......'

[heavenlyfire]

DD17 has always been very picky about her clothes. When she was in elementary school she would absolutely die before wearing jeans that had even the slightest hint of wear on them...now she has no problem spending $40 on a pair of ripped up, holey jeans with stringy ends at the legs!! At least it is her own money.

DD15 never cared about her clothes...she just needed something on her body so I would let her play. After she turned 14 though, it definitely started to matter...so hang in there, I am sure your little girl will turn around!

[Admin shilton]

I am having the same issues with DD9 and praying it ends soon. She has to be told to brush her hair, then doesn't do a good job and has to be sent back. Then she will wear stained and holey play clothes to school and in public if I don't catch her and tell her to change. She just doesn't care. Now I don't want her to be a preppy snob or anything, but a little caring would be nice.

[My2Blessings]

I was the same way as a kid and I grew out of it. Although like the OP, I wish my Mom would have made me care a little more.

[candied]

You know - I love that she "doesn't care." But she has nice play clothes that she could wear to school that don't have stains on them. She has like a billion shirts that she could never dream of wearing.

There was 1 day where I didn't catch it in time or I simply didn't want to start a battle. She was wearing jeans that looked like capris on her, but had the flare on the bottom. It looked silly when I saw it.

I know she will grow out of it, but I need to have patience. DD13 really started caring towards the end of 6th grade. I am thinking 4 more years to go.

Candace

[ampgrl88]

It's not just girls. Doesn't bother ds one bit to wear a shirt with a stain or a hole in it. Doesn't bother him one bit to wear something that is 2 sizes too small. I have gotten a system with him that works pretty well. When I do laundry I hang up his good shirts, I don't run them thru the dryer just in case of shrinkage. But when it gets stained or it's an older shirt that he's had awhile I start throwing it in the dryer. So if it's on a hanger he can wear it to school, if it's folded it either gets slept in or it's for after school and weekends. No more battles for us.

[JBabes~]

My dd 6 is going through the "I have to look pretty" stage....This has been going on for about a year +1/2... The child insists she must wear skirts/dresses to school, even when it's below freezing. She doesn't care if its ripped/torn/stained/wrinkled/too short to cover her underpants. It MUST be "not pants"

[Jenny]

What a relief to see I'm not the only one struggling with these issues, both with DS9 and DD7. Heaven forbid that the girl does anything with her hair and DS woud wear pants with holes in the knees because they're the most comfortable. On occasion, my DD will want to doll up for school or some other occasion, but I tell you, it's rare. DS won't wear anything remotely resembling dress clothes without a battle of epic proportions. I practically can't wait for them to get a crush or something and care about how they look to others.

Jen

[Admin Jorelanu]

Well you most certainly are not alone in this! What even WORSE is when my DH picks out their clothing! He has stuffed the older kid into her sister's pants with a completely non-matching shirt or a stained one!

To solve the morning battle or being horrified with what my child is wearing on the mornings that DH gets her dressed, I now set out her clothing for the next day each night.

I show it to her before bed, so if she REALLY has an issue with it, she can say so then. I will say though, mornings are a ton faster because her clothing is there and ready to go. I make sure to get everything.... socks, underwear, hair ties, pants, shirt, etc... just so there are no decisions or stalling.

Jore

[candied]

When I am doing laundry I try to catch the items that are not going to work anymore. It took me a couple tries on the short pants. The stained t-shirt is next.

I am so glad that I am not the only one with kids and clothes issues. It really does make me feel better.

Candace

[fostermom]

You're definitely not the only one, Candace. I have to constantly get my DD6, who is very much a tom boy, out of her brother's clothes. She's so happy to just throw on a pair of his jeans (they're only one size too big) and a plain white Hanes t-shirt (stains or not). It makes me crazy!

[penny-penn]

Wait until she is 14, and you catch her cutting a perfectly good pair jeans into long shorts to wear with her new striped tube socks. Oh, I almost forgot on the day she was going to wear her new creation the high was SIX degrees!

[Admin KYMOMMYOF2]

You guys are LUCKY. My DD (will be 6 this Friday!) is a little diva, and I have no idea where she got it. I am a comfy gal, I don't follow a lot of trends, I dress for comfort. I am a shoe freak, but other than that, I have no diva-like qualities, lol.

My DD is a clothes horse! One of her favorite pasttimes is going to her room to put outfits together. It kills me! She'll have all these outfits laid across her bed, matched up with shoes, socks, purse, bracelets, etc.

She wears uniforms Monday-Thursday to school, and on Friday they are allowed to wear what they want. She LIVES for that. Her potential Friday Outfit changes about a dozen times through the week. It's a good thing we have great thrift shops around here, or I'd go broke clothing this kid.

[candied]

Relief - thanks for letting me know I don't have the only quirky kids:D

Today she left the house in:

*pink capris
*pink shirt that says (Blame it on my Sister)
*pink and white SLEEP socks - These are the slippers / booties that I got as a HT from the green boards from Victoria's Secret - these are for adult woman, but I let her have them for her jammies and fun - NOT SCHOOL.
*her dirty black and white slip on shoes

She tried to get out of the house with all of the above, but with GREEN socks. Thankfully not much of a fight.

Candace

[carj]

I get my kids clothes ready the night before as well. We don't have too many clothing battles. If it looks ratty or doens't fit, I toss it. She has plenty of clothes. We have 2 people who give us their outgrown clothes. If she doesn't like the way it feels, or if I don't like how it looks we pass it along to someone else. We have passed along almost all of the low rise pants. Nobody really needs to see my 4 year old's hiney!

I make my daughter decide how she is going to wear her hair, the night before as well. Then I can get the hair bows with the outfit. Also, it is much easier for her to make a decision at night, instead of in the morning.

My son wants to look nice. He is not particular but he likes to pick out his favorite shirts. He is pretty easy to please though.

[penny-penn]

At least everything (besides the shoes) was pink! :)

[JMac]

My DH always puts our son in highwaters. Last week I was like 'he has 6 new pairs of pants!' He told me to pull them out of the drawer if he didn't want him wearing them. :)

[Admin Jorelanu]

My DH always puts our son in highwaters. Last week I was like 'he has 6 new pairs of pants!' He told me to pull them out of the drawer if he didn't want him wearing them. :)


Mine says the same thing about our girls. I don't put them in her drawer if I "know" they don't fit but half the time she outgrows them in-between me putting them away and DH squashing her into them!

Jore

[sangenuer]

Maybe you could help her organize her closet/dresser into school clothes and non-school clothes? If the stained shirt is a favorite or something, maybe you could agree on an appropriate time/place for it (playground, a Saturday at home, just not school)?

I've finally stopped battling with my girls (6, almost 5 and 4), most of the time. It's just not worth it. If they're putting on a tank top when it's supposed to be 60 degrees outside, I'll tell them "You might be cold in that, it's chilly today." Sometimes I'll even take them outside to feel what it's like. But if they say they still want to wear it, fine. Just don't complain to me that you're cold! I might make suggestions--"You know, I think your pink shirt would go better with those pants, and these socks match really well"--but if they say no, fine. I put my foot down at modesty and wearing clothes that will get destroyed by whatever they're planning to do. So no fancy dresses to the playground, and any dresses worn for school/church/play must have shorts, leggings or tights underneath (they haven't learned to sit like girls yet!).

Also, realizing that others are not judging me based on what my kids are wearing has been liberating. When I saw a little girl at the playground yesterday in a leotard and pink tutu, I didn't think bad things about her mom. So why should I think others would think badly of me if one of my girls decided that she really, really wanted the green striped socks with the purple capris? Why should I care so much?

Life's too short to worry too much about it. Pick your battles.

sangenuer