Should I just start with yelling??

[COLORADO/MOM/3]

My DD who is 9 has just within the past 2 to 3 weeks started completely not listening to me.

For instance....Last night I asked her to stop playing on Webkinz and go take a shower and she didn't even hesitate she just kept playing....I said it again and she didn't even look at me. I had to yell at her to get her to understand that I'm serious.....I don't know if it was Christmas or if she is going through another stage in life. What do I do? Should I just start by yelling?? :rolleyes: :eek: I hate to yell at her or anyone for that matter, but she just won't listen to me :confused: Help! Does anyone else have this problem or is it just me?

[candied]

I think before you start yelling (which is the easy way to let them know you mean business) you might need to get her to look at you and tell her in a firm voice the next task which needs to be completed. You need to make sure that she sees your facial expression with the words to go along with it.

My girls do something similar, but it is not to the extreme of blatant disobeying. They want to finish what they are doing. Well say something to me darling - like "Mom, I am almost done, can I finish this really quick".

But you might also want to give a 5 to 10 minute warning and then put the timer on. Let them know you have XX minutes, when the timer goes off, it will be time for your shower. You will also have to say something when the timer goes off, but hopefully this will curb the disobeying.

Good luck, I really do empathize with you. Raising kids is hard.

Candace

[Admin Randy's Wife]

I think it is just a stage, especially during/after the holidays with all the new toys and things to do or play with.

We go through this rarely with my DD10.....but we typically "nip it in the bud" and then we go a long while before we have to deal with it again. And yes, I have to yell to get her to listen to me also. It drives me up the wall though when the not listening phase kicks in....I have the same problem with talking back. But once she remembers that we have zero tolerance for any of that, she snaps out of the phase real quick!

[Fourboys]

i dont yell- i take away privileges. not listening last night would mean no webkinz today.

[Cyndi_Psych]

Yelling will probably soon lose its effect. I agree with the advance notice and timer idea. If that doesn't work, then taking away privileges such as allowance or playing time.

[Admin shilton]

Funny, my DD who is 9 was making me crazy. Last night she was great but maybe that is because the weather was wonderfull and she wanted to play outside. We shall see.

[Admin TiggerTeddie]

I have found that whispering gets the most attention from my DD. She has to REALLY focus on me and has to work to hear me. Sometimes, it is a nice ploy to try on a rough day - I can't do it ALL the time.

And that silly "1, 2, 3 - eyes on me" thing really works for my 6 year old!!

[Deb]

Sometimes my boys will kinda hear me but are so focused on the computer or game it just doesn't get through all the way. If their back is to me I try to touch them in some way to make what I am saying have more of an effect. I also try to give them to the end of this game, to the checkpoint, whatever natural stopping point is up next to end by.

[My2Blessings]

DD is much younger than your DD, but when I want her to do something I tell her to look at my eyes. I don't say "look at me" I tell her where to look, then I tell her. You might also have her repeat back to you what you said to her, so you know she heard you. I use to just totally tune out my Mom, and it wasn't intentional.

[Admin Jorelanu]

I take away priviledges too. Lets see.....older DD gets absolutely no treats or dessert for a week because she flat out refused to brush her teeth, she stood in the bathroom with the electric toothbrushing running but no paste on it, nor did it enter her mouth.

Both kids have no computer-time for two weeks, they snuck into the computer room instead of cleaning their room like they were told.

Time-outs have no effect on my lil one...but putting her precious Buzz Lightyear into time-out does. He's been in there twice this week for her talking-back and being snotty/rude to me.

Jore

[woohoo]

Poor Buzz, it's not his fault:(

[My2Blessings]

Poor Buzz, it's not his fault:(

Ohhh! That made me laugh out loud. :D Too funny, woohoo!

[fostermom]

Candace has a very good point...kids have a hard time switching gears just because we tell them to. A 5-minute warning really helps.

If it makes you feel better, you are not alone. Sometimes I feel like the only way to get through is to yell. And mine go through stages of completely tuning me out, too.

[ericaj]

c/m/2, come join scarlett and i here:

http://www.teritodaymessageboard.com/showthread.php?t=8782


'nuff said!:D

[candied]

...kids have a hard time switching gears just because we tell them to. A 5-minute warning really helps.

My 32 year old DH has a VERY difficult time switching as well. I sometimes have to try 3 or 4 times to get his attention.

I have also found that I need to tell them (especiallyDD7) that she has XX minutes to do whatever she wants to do before the next task is to be started. For example, most of the time the next task is bed. If she wants to have a snack or play a game, she needs to do it within the timeframe given.

Candace

[dmwinch]

I have this same problem with my 16 yo and showers (she prefers to shower at night). So after asking her twice to shower in the evening, I let it go. I got her up early in the morning. She really didn't like that. After a couple of times with morning showers, and one time missing the bus and walking 1.5 miles to school, I don't have quite the problem any longer.

Natural consequences. Maybe you send her to the showers right after dinner, with no 'play time' until shower is accomplished?

[COLORADO/MOM/3]

Thanks you guys....she seems to be doing better these past couple of days. I think part of her attitude problem might have been that her best friend stayed with us for four days last week...I had completely forgotten about that. It tends turn my sweet DD into a child that has an "I can do whatever I want to do" type attitude :rolleyes:

Now that she has gotten back into a school routine she is back to being my sweet little girl...thanks for letting me vent and for all of the great ideas :)