Grr! Why do we have to mess with tradition?

[Alli~cat]

I have always been lucky in the way that we celebrate Christmas with my family and my in-laws. My family has always done Christmas morning at my mom's, and then that afternoon at my Grandma's. DH's family has always done Christmas Eve. I've always thought that worked out pretty nicely ;). My sister lives out of town, but even when they come home for Christmas, we still do Christmas day at my parent's house. Well, this year my SIL has decided that they are doing Christmas day at her brother's house, so we all have to rearrange our schedules to accommadate them. She now wants to have Christmas with our family on Christmas Eve (around lunchtime), even though my mom and I had already planned our Christmas morning breakfast. If that is our plan, then I will have to do that, then go to the in-laws, then get the kiddos into bed and stuff wrapped and put together, and then still have to do Christmas day. Why do MY plans and traditions have to change b/c of her?? I am so tempted not to go, to just drop off their presents. I have entirely too much to do b/n now and the time my kids get up Christmas morning to be accommodating HER schedule and plans. Am I a scrooge? And do we go, or pass?

[Admin Jorelanu]

I personally would say that you are very sorry but you ased your plans on the prior years and are unable to change them so you won't be able to attend but will arrange to drop their gifts by earlier.

If you agree to change your plans at the drop of a hat just for her, she'll expect you to do it every year.

I ate my family doing this to me so I became "inflexible"...amazing how fast people stopped trying to mess with my schedule when they realized there was no way I was budging.

Jore

[Alli~cat]

OH! And my parents are making the 12 hour drive home from my sister's tomorrow night, so they won't even get home until 7 or 8 Christmas Eve morning. And SIL wants to have dinner at noon? That irritates me to no end.

[Admin shilton]

I would stick to your regular plan. Your SIL can either plan around that, fall into what has always happened, or have Christmas without you. I really think that you have to draw lines in the sand or people will make you crazy.

[My2Blessings]

I agree. I wouldn't be flexible. How does your DH feel about all this? Or is he okay with whatever you decide?

[alishalea]

You have a perfect excuse with your parents driving the 12 hours. I say see if you can reschedule with her for next weekend. For her sake, as well as everyone else's, I think you need to change it. If you guys go through with it, she will know you are all upset and irritated. Definitely not worth the drama.

Something I am learning this year is that my immediate families needs are what I need to put as most important. Too much traveling around = fussy kids (and over tired momma!) . Either reschedule or just don't go. She is adding stress, you definitely don't need that!

Just saw you are 7 weeks pregnant. Watch out for you and your immediate family. Don't do anything that will add any stress. It will be very easy to over exhaust yourself right now. I hope it all works out!

[MickiB]

Sounds familiar. That's one of the issues going on with our family now, and the reason everyone is ticked off at ME and thinks *I* need to apologize. DH's sister normally hosts Christmas Eve, but we never go because we usually spend Christmas eve with my parents. However, my Mom has to work Christmas eve this year and DH's sister's bathroom is being redone so neither of them are doing Christmas Eve. (Um, my kitchen AND bathroom have been torn up for almost three years now, I still host. If the toilet and sink work, you're good!) I called the whole family and offered to host Christmas eve, got told no, that everybody wants to stay home on Christmas Eve. Ok, so I offer to host Christmas day, but I was told that one person's family would be out of town, another person's family would be spending it at the in-laws, the other family isn't participating in Christmas this year, and nobody knew about the other person's family because of their work schedule but they'll probably stay home to rest. OK, invitation refused, right? Wrong. After I made other plans, supposedly now everyone had planned on coming over here after already telling me they were busy. So why do I have to apologize? I get so tired of always being the one who has to schedule around everyone else. I don't get many days off, and I certainly don't want to spend them cooking and cleaning because nobody else wants to host. And they get at least two weeks of vacation this time of year! Now we have to go do Christmas today at another person's house because of the people going out of town on Christmas eve and Christmas day. Ummm, when do I have time to finish shopping and bake cookies now?

[sss4ard]

This is why I quit doing Christmas with my family a loooong time ago. My ex and I always spent Christmas Eve with my family, went home and loaded up gifts and drove about an hour and 15 minutes to his sister's house and spent
Christmas day with his family in Indianapolis. My family get together was always at my parents until they divorced. After that we always went to my younger brother's house. Then one year my SIL decides to include her family in on our family's CE.:eek: :eek: She has 11 brothers and sisters and all of their kids along with the 6 of us and our kids. Only went one time and that was enough for me. So ex and I buy our house and I tell everyone we want to have Christmas at our house. One sister says they will be in Florida...ok. The other one says but what about B & P, they will have to drive an extra 45 minutes and B has to go back home next morning for work next night. Well they drive to your house to visit don't they?:mad: Stopped all the madness and spend time with my kids, DBF and his family. Do what you need to do, it's hectic enough at this time of year without someone else adding to it. Sorry this is so long.:o

Cat

[megan_anne81]

Ugh. It's stories like this that make me thank my lucky stars I have cool in laws and an understanding family!

My poor sister has a MIL from H-E- double hockey sticks and she has pretty much ruined Christmas and pretty much other holiday for my sister since she got married.

I would say make your own plan and stick to it. It's your holiday too and you should be able to enjoy every minute of it!