We have a meeting scheduled with the school

[Missy]

Got an email today - the school has "agreed" to meet with us to start the process to determine if DS needs a 504 or an IEP. Not sure if I'm looking forward to this or not. I can tell you - that I'm going prepared! It's next Wednesday at 8:30am.

[Admin shilton]

I think you need to call the state and find out how you get an "educational advocate" to go with you and help you. It is free, you just have to find out who to contact in your state.

[candied]

Good luck at your meeting - I hope something positive for both you and your DS and the school can be worked out.

Candace

[CU82]

Best of luck. Don't let them intimidate you, everyone should be looking our for the best interest of your child.

[gin3]

Good Luck!!!

[carj]

I suggest that you bring someone with you. I don't necessarily think that it HAS to be an advocate. You do need someone there to support you. It can be very intimidating to walk into a meeting by yourself and to discuss your child. Every parent that I know gets very emotional, understandably.

You need someone with you just so that you can have another person there to process all the information. I almost think that it is better to bring a friend rather than a spouse. That is just my opinion.

You can always ask for more time to think about things, there is no need to rush to a decision in the meeting. Don't feel pressured to agree to something, ask for more time. (When you are in the meeting, you can ask for a break. Sometimes that means that you will come back in a few minutes, other times it may mean several days.)

[CashNinQs]

Good luck!

[Tau]

I know you've said that you found wrightslaw - but please, run and don't walk, to conductdisorders.com. They have a Special Ed 101 forum that has been a *lifesaver* in our fight for an IEP for our son.

Do not accept the 504. There is no question here, your son qualifies for an IEP. IEPs have a due process that you can pursue, if the teachers and administration do not follow the plan. With a 504, your only recourse is to sue the school in federal court.

Learn the lingo - you have the diagnosis, now you need to show that your son is experiencing an Adverse Effect in school because of his disability. You have clearly demonstrated examples of that. (KEEP the note from the teacher about the test he refused to take!!! In fact, keep everything - every grade report, notes from the school, etc...)

The parents over at conductdisorders are veterans at this process and can give you oodles of advice. I learned a ton just by pouring over the archive section of the Sp Ed board - and the new posts. They wont all apply to your situation, but youll learn a lot of nuance.

Additionally - new law stipulates that school CANNOT base an IEP or 504 decision based on grades. (cannot cannot cannot) Thats an old trick, and our school tried it too. (the old regulations allowed for that - the new changes do not)

I don't want to go on too long - but I know your frustration intimately. Don't let them intimidate you, stay calm, and know the law. They cannot bowl you over if you have the facts - and those facts ARE on your side!