Quick Update

[Nez]

We are trying to stay stress free and optimistic....but I'm having issues tonight.

As I previously posted, our first blood test came back positive, but with hCG of 28. The followup test we took yesterday came back positive, but the hCG is only 100. It's going up....just not very fast. So we go for another follow up on Thursday. We'll get the results that afternoon or Friday morning. The fertility clinic wants to do an early ultrasound on Jan 18th, but only if my hCG levels go up to 1000. My levels are low, but when I did some research, the "average" for 5 weeks is between 18 and 7360 or something like that. I am above 18. The nurse said to be guardedly optimistic. And I'm trying. On top of it all I just had a really crappy day and I haven't been sleeping well. My husband just said something really sweet to me and I burst into tears.

So if you wouldn't mind...send some good thoughts my way and maybe a little sticky dust?

Thanks ladies!

[Fourboys]

sticky dust! hope your sweetie is fine!

[QMomof3]

Sticky dust and prayers for you!

[eyesave08]

Sending lots and lots of sticky dust your way! Prayers for you and the little one.

[netsiren]

Sticky dust!!! I don't know if they told you this or not, but those numbers going up are a good sign. They are suppose to double in 24 hours and your numbers look good to be for being early on in the pregnancy!

[candied]

Ooooo lots of sticky dust headed your way!

[ILuvMoni]

I wish the best for your little bean, and hope your numbers are way up on Thurs so you can have some peace of mind. :)

[Kitter Kat]

Sticky, sticky, sticky!!

[gin3]

Did the sticky dust dance this better not come in bite me in the butt j/k! Good luck!!!!

[pediRN]

Sending you lots and lots of sticky dust!

[cheltie68]

Lots of prayers being said for your little one, Nez!!! Be sure to keep us posted :)

[Nez]

Awwww!! Thank you all so much! You made my night! And netsiren? Thank you for that information, I'll sleep better tonight! :)

[MomMeg]

Praying for you!

Megan

[ericaj]

I was just about to chime in about the #'s doubling. Ask them to check your progesterone level. That is a huge factor in keeping the sticky dust working for you! It was the factor that made me miscarry numerous times.

[Nez]

I will make sure I ask about it when I call on Friday. Thanks Erica!

[raisinggracie]

I was just about to chime in about the #'s doubling. Ask them to check your progesterone level. That is a huge factor in keeping the sticky dust working for you! It was the factor that made me miscarry numerous times.

Most definitely! Good luck with everything.

[Admin 100thousandaire]

Good luck!!

[STACEY IN CALIF]

Sending lots of sticky dust! I'll be thinking of you.

[katieboosmama]

Doin the sticky dust dance!!! Good Luck!

[EmmaLu]

Hoping for the very best for you! Sticky, sticky, sticky!

[Admin Randy's Wife]

Sending LOTS of sticky dust, hugs, prayers and good thoughts your way!

[kmiller]

Prayers and sticky dust headed your way!

[girlysoxfan]

Thinking of you Nez!

[SavinSheila]

Hope everything is fine! Sticky vibes

[GoNooshBird]

Lots of stickiness heading your way!

[Admin Randy's Wife]

Nez, have you gotten the results from yesterdays test yet? Just checking...

[Nez]

Well, my 3rd blood test came back and it was at 118. ARGH!!

I talked to the nurse for a bit today and blatantly put it out there, "are you handling me with kidgloves? Cause really, while we want this very much, it's not the be all end all for us. And I do appreciate trying to save my feelings, but really, it's not necessary. I'm stronger than that." She laughed and said that she wasn't doing that. She said that basically the numbers are going up. Very slowly, but they are going up. And this little Bean just needs to decide what it's going to do. Stick or miscarry. She said we have to just keep monitoring it to find out what it decides. She also said it could take up to 12 weeks to decide. I audibly groaned. So much for the 2WW....I could be on a 6 more WW now....lol! This child is my husband's child. While mommy needs to know and wants to make her lists and plans....the little Bean is just sitting back and taking it's time and figuring out what the best option may be.
Can you say frustrating???

[pediRN]

Sorry, Nez. I think the worst part is not knowing! So what is the plan now...just wait it out? Are you going to repeat your HCG sometime?

I hope that little bean decides to stick, grow, and thrive!

[Nez]

I go to the lab again on Monday to be brutally stabbed...erm...I mean to get another blood test.
The scary thing about that is that while I'm terrified of needles, my left arm has good veins. But, I don't know if they will be able to use the left arm again on Monday cause it has poke holes and is bruised this time. If they have to use the right arm? *shudder* I don't have good veins in that arm....I might have to cry here....

[Admin Randy's Wife]

I will continue to send some sticky dust your way, hang in there!

[Nez]

And thank you for the good wishes!

I think I'm just going to go with the mindset that I am pregnant and I will have a baby in September. Worrying isn't going to help, right? I'll just keep on going for the tests and until I hear otherwise from my doctor or AF comes or whatever....I'm pregnant. I will make my lists and my plans and start organizing the house and getting things ready. Not like buying stuff ready, just organized and clean.
Worst case scenario...the house is organized and cleaned. Best case? I'm ready when the little Bean decides to show up!

[Lucy]

Nez, sticky dust being sent.

[Fourboys]

And thank you for the good wishes!

I think I'm just going to go with the mindset that I am pregnant and I will have a baby in September. Worrying isn't going to help, right? I'll just keep on going for the tests and until I hear otherwise from my doctor or AF comes or whatever....I'm pregnant. I will make my lists and my plans and start organizing the house and getting things ready. Not like buying stuff ready, just organized and clean.
Worst case scenario...the house is organized and cleaned. Best case? I'm ready when the little Bean decides to show up!

good idea- treat yourself well cause you ARE pregnant.

[Mag_Pie]

Don't do a lot of work.. Take it easy and rest your mind...

[netsiren]

How many weeks are you? Do they plan to do an ultrasound? I'm still praying for a sticky bean for you!

[Nez]

Jessica - I'm just over 6 weeks this weekend and thanks for the sticky dust!

I'm still optimistic, but the fertility clinic called yesterday. I finally talked to someone who wasn't trying to handle me with kid gloves. Thank god!!! She said that while my numbers could double and this could just be a little glitch, their experience in the clinic has shown that it usually means not viable. So we went over what I could expect, what to watch for, etc. I thanked her profusely for being honest with me.

I'm still hoping and still optimistic and still talking the Bean into sticking around, but I feel so much more in control now that she told me what realistically could happen and what to expect. No...I'm not a control freak at all. lol

In other news, after I told my husband about what the nurse said, we started talking about maybe extending our deadline a little bit if it doesn't happen this time. We still need to talk more and figure things out, but this month was always going to be our last month to try. I'm 42 at the end of this month and that was always our line in the sand, so to speak. But now that we know it "can" happen for us, we might extend it to one more try when my body is ready again. We'll see though. I want to try again but I don't know if I do either. We have lots to talk about.

What would make it easier is if this little Bean started growing in leaps and bounds! Come on Bean!! Shake what your momma gave you!! :)

[EmmaLu]

Still crossing my fingers for you Nez and blowing lots and lots of sticky dust your way! Grow bean, grow!

I really admire your attitude towards this also. You seem very strong and determined during this waiting period.

[Cyndi_Psych]

I am SO hoping that everything works out for you and the baby! Grow, baby, grow!

[STACEY IN CALIF]

Oh Nez, I sure hope this is meant to be. I hope we will have a new baby in September. I'm hoping the best for you.

[boathappy]

**~ Sticky Dust ~** Coming your way!

[Nez]

Hello again!
So...I had another hCG level test on Monday and received the results today. I was a little down until I spoke to my doctor about a half hour ago. I was 118 last Thursday. Monday I was 144. So still going up, but so slow!!

So my doctor said that we aren't accomplishing much doing these tests every 4 days. The numbers, although low, are rising. That is a good thing. She said that we are just going to go into a holding pattern for now. If I start to bleed or anything in the next few weeks, I am to go and see her right away. If I don't though, I am to come in for my first Full Prenatal Exam six weeks from now. She said that I'm pregnant, the numbers are rising and I am to treat myself like I'm pregnant. So, among other things, drink a litre of milk a day!! OMG!! I don't like milk!! lmao!!! Thankfully the liquid calcium I take will work fine.

So that is where everything stands. No more tests every 4 days. And I think that will be a good thing. I've been getting so wound up for the brutal stabbings and then so nervous waiting for the results. We are just leaving it for now. Whatever happens, happens. And I'll see her in 6 weeks for the Prenatal! ;)

[arubagirl]

Glad the numbers are going up.... take it easy. praying the numbers will continue to climb!

[Fourboys]

Hello again!
So...I had another hCG level test on Monday and received the results today. I was a little down until I spoke to my doctor about a half hour ago. I was 118 last Thursday. Monday I was 144. So still going up, but so slow!!

So my doctor said that we aren't accomplishing much doing these tests every 4 days. The numbers, although low, are rising. That is a good thing. She said that we are just going to go into a holding pattern for now. If I start to bleed or anything in the next few weeks, I am to go and see her right away. If I don't though, I am to come in for my first Full Prenatal Exam six weeks from now. She said that I'm pregnant, the numbers are rising and I am to treat myself like I'm pregnant. So, among other things, drink a litre of milk a day!! OMG!! I don't like milk!! lmao!!! Thankfully the liquid calcium I take will work fine.

So that is where everything stands. No more tests every 4 days. And I think that will be a good thing. I've been getting so wound up for the brutal stabbings and then so nervous waiting for the results. We are just leaving it for now. Whatever happens, happens. And I'll see her in 6 weeks for the Prenatal! ;)

that's good news!

[STACEY IN CALIF]

I would be a wreck going in every four days. I think that's a good decision. Still sending sticky dust your way!!

[candied]

That is great news! I can't wait to hear all about your first appointment.

[Admin 100thousandaire]

Ohhh, I would complain about being poked every 4 days, ugh!! I pray that everything will turn out fine and you will have a tiny blessing in September.

[boathappy]

Still praying for you Nez

[Mag_Pie]

Glad to hear it's still going up! Keep positive...

[Cyndi_Psych]

Glad to hear things are sounding positive. Best wishes, take care of yourself!

[2boys]

Sounds positive! Hope things continue to go well.

[shelly1962]

Sending you postive vibes and sticky dust as well.

[Nez]

Hello everyone,

So there is no easy way to say this and just blurting it out seems wrong, but ya. We lost the baby yesterday. So far everything is fine and my husband and I are doing fine. It was definitely an experience, who knew it would be so physically painful and why do I always get the loopy nurses?

I'm just really tired today and am going to take it easy this weekend.

Thank you again for all your well wishes ladies. You are all amazing.

[Admin Randy's Wife]

Oh Nez, I am so very sorry, thank you for letting us know. I will be praying and thinking of you and your DH during this difficult time. Please take it easy this time and spend some quality time with your hubby. And know that we are all here for you if you need us. Huge hugs.

[katieboosmama]

Nez, i am so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts today.

[eyesave08]

Nez, I was praying so much for you and your little one. I think the thing that shocked me so much when I miscarried was the physical pain as well. There are so many supportive woman on this board who have been through a loss as well. I'll be praying for you and DH, and feel free to PM me anytime if you need to talk.*Hugs*

[MommaBean]

Oh Nez!!
I had a feeling about you and came online this morning to send you huge hugs. I just knew I needed too, reading this my heart breaks for you and I wish you the very best. Take care and you and hubby should look into a really romantic weekend ;)

[Fourboys]

Im so sorry for your loss Nez. thinking of you and sending hugs

[candied]

Oh Nez, I am so so very sorry to hear this. My heart is aching! Hugs to you and your DH. Thank you for letting us know.

[eshyde]

I'm so very sorry for your loss. Take good care of yourself...{{{hugs}}}

[Admin frugalmama]

Nez, I'm SO sorry to hear that. Lots of hugs to you. We are here for you!

[EmmaLu]

So very, very sorry Nez! I will be thinking of you and your husband!

[Mag_Pie]

Sorry to hear this, Nez. I've been there too and it's such a sad time. Take care of yourself and hubby

[makintraks]

I am sorry for your loss.

[cheltie68]

Oh Nez, I am so sorry. Will continue to keep you and your H in my thoughts and prayers!

[gab1971]

I am SO sorry .

I have also been there -thinking of you .

[pediRN]

Still thinking about you, Nez. I will keep you both in my prayers!

[Nez]

Thank you all for the kind words and messages. You are all so sweet.

We are doing okay. I'm still not sure what exactly is going on with my body. Still cramping...then not...then back ache...then not. The only constant is that I'm tired and it's taking forever to accomplish anything. Two days to do 4 loads of laundry? Lord help me. lol
I have a call in to the nurses at the fertility clinic so hopefully they call me back today and I can talk to them.

[boathappy]

I'm so sorry Nez, thinking about you and your husband. I hope that you start feeling better soon.

[Cyndi_Psych]

I'm so sorry for your loss. I have experienced that and know that sadness.

[Lucy]

Nez, I am so sorry.

[MomMeg]

So sorry - I have been there, done that and it is painful physically and emotionally.

We are here for you.

Megan

[ILuvMoni]

I'm so very sorry to hear that you lost your bean. Its so confusing when things like this happen.
Many hugs to you.

[Admin shilton]

So sorry for the news. I hope you are doing ok.

[netsiren]

Nez, I'm so sorry to hear this. I've been there 3 times myself. It's not easy. Lots of hugs and prayers for you.

[meramr]

Nez, I am so sorry for your loss! Take care of yourself.

[GoNooshBird]

Nez, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your husband.

[kortmom]

I'm very sorry, Nez. I hope you heal soon.